Safety at Home
- To leave an abusive relationship safely, advance planning is essential.
- If an argument seems unavoidable, have access to an exit
- Know how to get out of your home safely
- Identify one or more neighbors that you can tell about the violence, and ask that they call 911 if they hear a disturbance coming from your home
- Choose a code word to use with your children, family, friends, and neighbors when you need the police
- Plan where you will go if you have to leave (even if you don’t think you will ever need to)
- Identify safe places you can go in an emergency
- Have a packed bag ready and keep it at a relative’s or a friend’s home in case you need to leave quickly
Safety at Work and in Public
- Talk to office or building security and provide a picture of your abuser
- Screen your calls
- If you are in school, inform your adviser and the security office
- Have someone escort you to your car
- Use a variety of routes to go home if possible
- Devise a plan should something happen while going home
Establish Your Independence
Have access to the following:
- Identification such as a driver’s license, social security card, green card, or passport
- Important papers such as birth certificates, insurance information, school and health records, welfare and immigration documents, and divorce or other court documents
- Money, credit cards, bank account number, and ATM cards
- Copies of your protection order
- Keys (for home, car, and office)
- Medications and prescriptions
- Phone numbers and addresses
- Clothing and comfort items for you and your children
- Jewelry and other valuables
- A savings account in your own name
- A shelter phone number
Should I Call the Police???
While you know your situation best if you fear for your safety, you are being threatened or hurt, or a crime is being committed, YES, call 9-1-1. A dispatcher will typically stay on the line with you, but you can always ask them to stay on the line until police arrive.
Remember – if you are in danger – call 9-1-1
If You Are a Friend or Family Member
If you know or suspect that someone is being abused, there are ways you can help:
- Do not blame the victim
- Allow the victim to make her own decisions
- Review a safety plan with the victim
- Offer to receive mail for the victim, or drive her to the police station, doctor’s office or court
- Stay in contact, even if the abuser makes it difficult
- Educate yourself further about domestic violence
- Be a good listener: Talk about what will work for the victim, NOT what you think you would do in the same situation
What is a Protection Order?
A protection order is issued by a court and tells the abuser to not “harass, molest, intimidate, retaliate against or tamper with” the victim. A protection order may also be known as a restraining order, a civil protection order, or a no contact order. Anyone may request a civil protection order, whether or not they have contacted the police. A filing packet may be obtained from the court or by contacting a domestic violence agency for assistance in filing for an order. A mandatory protection order is automatically entered in all criminal domestic violence cases.